I'm Certifiable

Hi all! I wanted to wait to write again until I knew officially, for sure, that I was pregnant. I mean, certified by an official person of the medical persuasion. And yes, that happened last week, so we can all let out a collective sigh of relief. Because I'm sure you all were as concerned as I was (you were, right?) that I might be making up all this preggo biz in my head.

If you recall in the last post, I had mentioned in passing that maybe I might be imagining the whole thing. And as the weeks passed, I stewed and stewed until I had convinced myself that all of my symptoms were psychosomatic. I'd read in my pregnancy book - you may experience a recurring metallic taste in your mouth - and I'd say, yes, I do believe it tastes like a dirty copper mine in my mouth. I must really be pregnant! But what threw me off was actually the stuff I read that wasn't happening. Most concertedly, that my boobs would start growing immediately due to all the hormonal changes. Uh, hello? When was that supposed to happen? I was worried about my lack of breast enhancement so much (especially as I continued to talk to many pregnant and post-preg women who all said yes, OMG, my boobs got huge right away, that's how I knew I was pregnant!) that I decided to take another pregnancy test just to make sure it still said YES. So with my DR appointment still a week or so away, while in Phoenix I took another one and sweated and waited to see if really, I'm just crazy. Well, of course it came back positive again, so what does that prove? That I'm not crazy and really am experiencing pregnancy symptoms, or that I am crazy for convincing myself even after 9 weeks that I'm not? It's a conundrum. But at least the most important part is resolved. I'm still having a baby.

I will say though, that at my dr appointment, before she had checked me out, I said - you know Doc, I'm kind of wondering because my boobs haven't gotten any bigger, if everything is normal? And she looked at me with an interesting look and said, well, that is interesting. But you took a pregnancy test, right? yes. And have you been experiencing other symptoms? Oh yes. Phew, well then, I think it's alright but let's check you out. SEE?! It is a concern that my boobs weren't bigger! I'm not crazy! I'll stop talking about it now.

In the next breath as she felt my stomach she said, holy cow, your uterus is huge! You're definitely pregnant! Which is nearly (sans 'uterus' and replace 'cow' with 'shit') what my dad said when he saw me for the first time. At 9 weeks, mind you. Which is exactly what every newly pregnant person wants to hear. I'm just kidding. It's not.

We also heard the heartbeat for the first time, which made me cry with relief that all of this really does have an end result in mind, which is to deliver that beating heart surrounded by freshly baked chubby goodness in about 6 and a half months or so.

Or maybe two beating hearts surrounded by two loaves of chubby goodness. Because despite the fact that twins are in neither Mat's nor my family background, I am now convinced that since my uterus is so huge there must be two in there. I will keep you posted on that as news develops. And obsess about it along the way.

We also have an estimated due date, and since I found out so early with my multiple pregnancy tests Doc thinks we are pretty right on. She says May 5th. But I then doth protest, because May 5th happens to be the birthday of the not-so-favorite ex-wife of my beloved. Seriously, God needs to work on his comedic timing. That one liner didn't even evoke a sarcastic chuckle. I am not pleased. So I am going to change the date to May 4th. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Also, in other just as exciting news, Mat proposed to me in Cape Cod 3 weeks ago! (All that pressure worked...thanks Mom.) Actually, I knew Mat had a plan even before we found out about the meatloaf and he was prudent enough not to give me (or my sister, or my mom) any details so that it actually could be romantic and special and everything I could ever want the moment to be. And it was. (Read more about the proposal if you dare here.)

So, to recap:

1. I am officially, certifiably pregnant.

2. I may be certifiably crazy as well.

3. Baby due date estimated at May 4th 2011!

4. We're getting married!

5. It's possible I maybe 8 months preggo at my wedding!

That's all for now folks. But I will stay in touch.

Dude! I'm Pregnant!

...And so it begins! Found out about the little meatloaf on August 22nd, after feeling really weird for a week or two. (Thought I was still in recovery mode from our wine-filled anniversary weekend in NYC...but, no.) I hadn't even missed the monthly visit yet, but I knew something was up. So I rushed to the CVS and picked up a double pack of early results tests. I actually took the first one 7 days early (it says 6 days on the box but I thought it would make an exception) on Thursday the 19th and... it showed negative. Slightly confused, relieved and yet sad, I plowed through the weekend stewing quite a bit about why my waist had suddenly disappeared, why I was so bloated my stretchy yoga pants were tight, and why I wanted to nap at 10:30 in the am.

I made the decision that I was going to check out some weight loss supplements. I mean, your waist doesn't just get to bloat up three inches for no good reason. And my energy needed a big time kick in the ass. But when I woke up at 6 am on Sunday morning, I realized that I couldn't just start up some crack-like new pill regime without knowing for sure what was really going on. So, within the requisite 6 days before your period time frame (now about 3 days before) I took the other test.

As I started to see the second pink line faintly appear...I freaked! Oh my god oh my god oh my god! I turned the test stick over and tossed it to the corner of the sink and got back into bed. It can't really be two flipin' lines! I lay there for awhile, I snuggled with Mat for awhile, putting it out of my mind for the last few minutes I could (for the rest of my life!) Mat got up and went into the bathroom. **TMI Alert** As he was standing there doing his thing, he notices the test shoved in the corner. 'Did you take a pregnancy test?' he yells at me in the bedroom. 'Uh, well, yeah,' I say, slowly walking into the bathroom. With a deer in the headlights look, he says 'Do you think you're pregnant?!' Mind you, he is still peeing. I kinda wanted to tell him while he at least has both hands free, so I wait. 'Val, are you pregnant?!' he says louder. Not sure if there's any perfect way to get this party started, so I stutter, 'Um....yeah, I think I am.' And he's silent. And still peeing. 'Oh my god that is the longest pee of your life!' I yelp as I run to the bed and pull the covers over my head. And start bawling.

Lo and behold, he finally stopped peeing and came out to calm my hysterics and we talked for a bit. Actually, when he finally emerged from the bathroom he had a huge smile on his face, which set off hysterics even more for a few seconds. In a good way. While this event was not planned for its current launch, it was on the long-term calendar nonetheless. We are really thrilled, scared, happy and freaked out, and are now in scramble mode trying to figure a few things out.

The news so far (well, besides the fact that I'm bringing a new human being into the world) is that we are moving into the house Mat owns that was on the market. Like, tomorrow. It's a great home for what we need right now, will be a 3-story luxury compared to our 1,000 SF apartment, and will give us a nursery, give me an office, Mat a place for his music equipment, and Katya and entire second master suite to fill with toys to her heart's desire. There is the tiny little bugger that it was a bona fide crack house just a few months ago. But we really believe we've painted, scrubbed, re-carpeted, and Lysol-ed all the bad vibes away and now its just walls, ready for a new beginning. (We may, however, get a shaman in there to clean the energy before we move, just to be safe!)

So...we're packing. Again. If anyone besides me is counting, this makes 4 moves in the past year and a half or so. I want to vomit. Or that may be the morning sickness, which has (yay for me!) just decided to kick in the moment we decided we had to pack up all our crap in one week and move. Fortunately we'll be heading out to Cape Cod next week to relax after all this.

As a recap:

1. I'm pregnant! 6 weeks or so. It's still possible it could just be indigestion. (Apart from the preggo test, missed period, bloating, constipation, nausea, extreme fatigue, and emotional mine field.)

2. We're happy!

3. We're moving!

4. We're going on vacation again!

As of right now, only a few people know because it is obviously so freakin' early. I haven't even been to the doctor yet. I don't even have a doctor yet out here. So...that's on the list. And we haven't told Katya, though we want to so badly we know that she will announce it to the world as soon as we do and we aren't quite there yet. I still haven't fully come to terms with all this yet, but I know it will happen as I get fatter.

One thing that has surprised me is how I feel. Which can only be described as yucky. I've had one continuous cramp for about 3 weeks (I read it's my uterus stretching, fun!) It's been low-key but constant and keeps me in a bit of a mood. And just a few days ago I started in big-time with the nausea. I haven't tossed my cookies yet, but the cookies threaten to be tossed all day long.('I think I just threw up in my mouth.') And NOTHING sounds good to eat, except peanut butter and banana sandwiches for some reason. Even water sounds gross to me, so I'm worried I'm not eating enough or drinking enough because it turns my stomach to think about. Dizzy often, tired, cranky but trying to be positive about it all!

That about wraps it up. Will keep you posted as events get more exciting. Mat and I thank everyone for their support and love and good wishes and are so happy to be on this journey together!

P.S. To all of my well-meaning loved ones: lay off Mat why dontcha! He will not propose to me just because my mom told him he should! He will not propose to me just because my sister threatens him! (well, maybe...) And he will not propose to me just because I'm carrying his love child! He has a plan, he's on a mission and won't be deterred. Besides, none of you can lay the pressure on as well as I can, and that vice has been squeezed :-)